I used to play keyboards in a rock n’ roll band in the early 90’s. I was sat in the lead singer’s lounge one day watching a video of one of our gigs and his girlfriend was there too.

The singer and I spent our time analysing the band’s performance to see how it could be improved. His girlfriend spent the whole time putting everyone down and just being totally negative about everything and everyone.

The last two verses are written about our then lead guitarist. He kept skipping practices and eventually left. It was some months after he’d left that we found out that he had secretly joined another band and didn’t have the guts to tell us.

Verse 1

Welcome to the cattle market,

Blazing on TV.

No need to bring your friends along

They’ll slag you off for free!

Get out your switchblade,

Prepare your next attack,

Then roll on up and shake our hands,

As you stab us in the back.

Chorus

Cattle market, everyone’s up for execution.

Cattle market, no time for retribution.

Cattle market, say we made no contribution.

Cattle market, no way! Hate you!

Verse 2

You say that you don’t understand,

You just don’t want to know.

You don’t like where we’re coming from,

You best get up and go.

The town that we once called our own,

You’re sentenced for no crime.

Don’t step to the kiss-ass beat,

You’re stepping out of line.

Chorus

Cattle market, everyone’s up for execution.

Cattle market, no time for retribution.

Cattle market, say we made no contribution.

Cattle market, no way! Hate you!

Verse 3

If loyalty was a heartbeat,

I swear that you’d be dead.

We all know you’re a legend,

Inside your tiny head.

The girlfriend that you call your own,

Still sleeps with someone else.

Who are you to criticise?

Take a good look at yourself.

Chorus

Cattle market, everyone’s up for execution.

Cattle market, no time for retribution.

Cattle market, say we made no contribution.

Cattle market, no way! Hate you!

Verse 4

It feels so good that you’ve gone,

So glad that we pulled through.

We’re coming back real strong,

Doing better without you.

You’ve made your bed so lie in it,

With your three kids and your wife.

And every time you fall asleep,

Gonna’ haunt your pathetic life.

Chorus

Cattle market, everyone’s up for execution.

Cattle market, no time for retribution.

Cattle market, say we made no contribution.

Cattle market, no way! Hate you!

April 1991