I wrote this poem in about 10 minutes! I was staring into our 10 x reflection bathroom mirror and was marvelling at just how quickly the hair on my ears was growing! Fortunately, I have one of those battery-operated mini shavers and clipped them away in a thrice! That got me thinking about the areas that I couldn’t reach! So, with that in mind, I wrote this!

As you get older,

the things that they told ‘ya,

start to come true I suppose.

The world picks up speed,

there’s a pain in your knees,

and the hair fair cascades out your nose!

It’s not just the nasal,

it’s your ears and the anal,

hairs that all seem to join in.

They’re thick and they’re black,

and you can’t push ‘em back,

so you decide that it’s time for a trim!

But where do you go,

to stop your follicle flow,

the barber would fill me with dread.

It would be quite rum,

when it came to your bum,

’cause you’d then have to stand on your head!

But if your bum hair remains,

it would drive you insane,

you’d itch and you’d pick and you’d scratch.

For a bald revolution,

there’s just one solution,

a packet of strips and some wax!

With underpants at your feet,

you turn your plush seat,

to wink at itself in the mirror!

The wax you apply,

and once it’s near dry,

you pick up the strips with a quiver.

With a scream and a shout,

the first hairs rip out,

and land with a thud on the floor.

There’s tears in your eyes,

your bum you despise,

and it’s burning like never before!

But at last it is done,

and you have a smooth bum,

just ignore all the blood at your feet.

It would have been safer,

if you’d just used a razor,

‘cause now you won’t sit for a week.

Now your bum is in ice,

and you’re feeling quite nice,

I can give you the moral my son.

Make sure your nose hairs are clipped,

and your ear hairs are nipped,

and please don’t neglect your old bum!